Some disclaimers to give us a foundation for this discussion: 

• The trends discussed here won’t be true of all Millennials. Generational labels can lead to stereotypes and oversimplification. All Millennials or Baby Boomers are not the same, just as all Southerners, all Catholics or all Black Americans are not the same. Shared experiences and identities should be recognized – and at their best can even be empowering – but this shouldn’t come at the expense of individuality. 
• The trends discussed here are not a knock on other generations, intended to speak negatively about other generations, or saying other generations aren’t similar/have similar trends. 
• Generational categories are not scientifically defined. It’s wise to think of terms like Gen Z, Millennial, Gen X and Baby Boomer as general reference points instead of scientific facts.
• Millennials are a culmination of trends from previous generations. They didn’t start the trends – good or bad – but they are the results of them. 
• Studying generational differences is about understanding, not criticism.
• Placing blame or casting judgment is rarely productive, especially in a ministry context. We can choose to judge the Millennial generation of parents or we can choose to partner with them.

Remember this: It’s hard to serve and lead a generation you roll your eyes at.

The Millennial generation includes anyone born between 1981-1996, which means that in 2024, Millennials now range in age from 28 to 43 years old. (We’re getting old, y’all). And while Millennials are having children later in life than previous generations, close to half of Millennials are now parents, and 62% of Millennials’ children are under the age of nine. 

As the torchbearers of the digital age, the creators of the word “adulting”, and the generation often faulted for intense self-focus, Millennials bring a fresh perspective to parenting, and understanding their unique characteristics can help ministry leaders more effectively partner with these parents in the discipleship of their children.

Key Characteristics of Millennial Parents:

1. Digital Natives –  Millennials are the first generation of digital natives – born into a world where the internet has always existed –  and have been surrounded by technology from a young age. This has shaped their behaviors, preferences, and expectations in profound ways. (Check out chapter 5 in my book Time to Update for specific ways to partner with this digital generation of parents). They are adept at navigating the digital landscape, relying heavily on smartphones, social media, and the internet for information and communication. 42% of Millennials haven’t gone more than 5 hours without looking at social media, and younger Millennials check their phones around 150 times a day, significantly higher than the average of 58 (Source).
2. Value Authentic Community – Millennials value authenticity and seek genuine connections in all aspects of their lives, including their faith journey and parenthood. They appreciate transparency, honesty, and real-life experiences over polished presentations. Moreover, they thrive in communities where they can share their beliefs, doubts, and struggles openly. Three out of four Millennials lack consistent trust in the words and decisions of Christian pastors. Instead, the most influential voices are their parents, friends, and the online world (Source).
3. Prioritize Experiences Over Possessions – Millennials prioritize experiences over material possessions. They seek meaning and fulfillment through experiences that enrich their lives and create lasting memories. This mindset extends to their approach to parenting, where they prioritize quality time and shared experiences with their children. 82% of Millennial parents work, and today’s parents are busier than ever before, but they are spending more time with their children, and they place high value on togetherness and family time (Source).
4. Diverse – Today’s parents are diverse in almost every way, including racially, religiously, and in their approach to parenting. Today’s parents are choosing to have kids later in life, with many of them feeling like they’ll never be able to afford buying a home or starting a family. Family structures are different too. Many Millennials focus on emotional intelligence and letting their children lead in the home (Source).
5. Overwhelmed – Parents today are busy, overwhelmed, and insecure in their spiritual leadership. It’s not a lack of desire, but a lack of knowledge when it comes to discipling their kids. The pressure for constant supervision makes parenting more time-consuming and exhausting today, and there’s also the expectation that children will play on sports teams and participate in extracurricular activities (Source).

In light of this research and these trends, how can church leaders partner with Millennial parents more effectively?

1. Embrace technology. – Leverage digital platforms such as social media, email newsletters, and mobile apps to engage today’s parents where they are most active. Today’s parents live in a digital world, and technology is often the tool they use to stay connected, learn, and grow. Instead of fighting against it, we can use it to our advantage by offering resources in digital formats, creating touchpoints throughout the week, and making it easy for parents to engage with faith on the go. Technology should never replace relationships, but it can strengthen them by keeping parents equipped and encouraged long after Sunday morning. There’s an entire chapter in my book Time to Update, devoted to helping make this easy and practical for you. Learn more about the book and order your copy here.
   1. Practical Ideas: Use text reminders, up your game on social media (it’s not just a bulletin board for announcements), provide digital resources parents can use at home (not just things they can print, but find apps and digital tools they can use to disciple their kids), offer video touchpoints of encouragement, reminders, and training throughout the week, send a weekly or monthly parent email newsletter, host online virtual events or trainings.
2. Build community. – Foster a welcoming and inclusive environment where Millennial parents feel valued, accepted, and understood. Encourage open dialogue and provide opportunities for genuine connections to form. When we build community with parents, we show them they are not alone in this journey. Millennial parents are longing to be seen, known, and supported. They want a safe space where they can ask questions, share struggles, and celebrate wins without fear of judgment. As leaders, we can create that space by praying for them regularly, inviting their input through something like a parent council, and stepping into their world outside of Sunday mornings. When parents feel valued and included, real community grows, and that community strengthens both their families and your ministry.
   1. Practical Ideas: Create a Parent Council for your ministry (see the free downloads for steps on setting this up!), ask for specific prayer requests (and use another free download – the family prayer calendar – to pray over those requests!), be OK with events focused on fellowship and community-building, show up outside of Sunday morning.
3. Create memories. – When we help families create memories, we are doing more than filling a calendar. We are giving them shared experiences that will stick. A child may not remember every Bible story you teach, but they will remember the night they laughed with their parents at a family event, prayed together before school started, or served alongside each other in your community. Those kinds of moments build connection, spark conversation, and point families back to Jesus. Creating memory-making opportunities helps families see that faith is not just something we talk about at church. It is something we live together every day. Design interactive and experiential activities that appeal to both children and parents. Create opportunities for hands-on learning, exploration, and discovery. Help families make memories together.
   1. Practical ideas: Celebrate family milestones, host fun events, lean into seasonal traditions, take-home memory makers, lean into the rhythm of the family’s life, photo-worthy moments, help families serve together.
4. Customize. – When we customize our approach with parents, we recognize that no two families are exactly the same. Each parent brings unique needs, backgrounds, and rhythms to the table. A one-size-fits-all strategy will never connect as deeply as a personalized touch. When we take time to know parents individually, remember details about their family, and offer resources that actually fit their stage of life, we show them that we see and value them. Customization communicates care, and care opens the door for trust and stronger partnership.
   1. Practical ideas: Send personal notes or texts, keep family profiles of each family with interests, likes, etc. offer resources that are flexible and can fit into varying family lifestyles and schedules, provide support and encouragement for a specific stage of parenting (nursery, kindergarten, preteen, etc.), ask questions to find out their top challenges.
5. Keep things simple. – Curate resources and materials that resonate with today’s parents, addressing their unique challenges, questions, and interests but that are also simple enough to fit into their busy lives. Offer practical guidance on parenting, faith formation, and navigating today’s world. Recognize that Millennial parents have busy schedules and may appreciate flexible options for participating in children’s ministry activities and at-home discipleship. Remember: Simple doesn’t have to mean shallow. Simple means doable, and doable is what helps faith stick in everyday life.
   1. Practical ideas: Share a Spotify playlist they can listen to in the car, one-page resources, family devotions that don’t take/last longer than a month, think less is more, lean into family rhythms of their daily lives, and help parents see how to incorporate faith into what they’re already doing.

Free Resources included in the breakout:

• Family Survey (PDF)
• Favorite Feedback Questions (.docx)
• Parent Council Freebie (.docx)
• Family Prayer Calendar (PDF)
• Children’s Ministry Surveys (one editable .docx and one example PDF)
• Family Discipleship 101 Free Sample (PDF)
• Guacamole Bible Skills Game (PDF)
• Parent Resource Shelves with a Meal Kit Mindset (blog post)
• What Next? Parent Resource Printable (PDF)
• Faith-Based Apps for Kids and Families (PDF here and Canva template here)