When I talk with children’s ministry leaders about a top struggle in their ministry, one of the common answers is engaging kids and redirecting disruptive behavior. More and more leaders are struggling with the classroom management side of leading and teaching kids, and part of that is because kids learn differently now than they have in the past and because we’re seeing a rise in neurodivergent kids. Whenever a leader mentions this sort of challenge, I always point them to Kim Botto’s new book: Boundless Hope for Every Child.
This book is a must-read for anyone passionate about making every child feel seen, understood, and welcomed. With practical and personal insights, this book strikes the perfect balance between heartwarming encouragement and actionable strategies. It’s helpful without feeling overwhelming, offering real-world solutions for church leaders. Through the wisdom and experiences shared from a variety of voices, Kim paints a compassionate and hopeful picture of what belonging can look like for every child.
I’m so excited Kim agreed to let me share an excerpt from her book with you! Here’s an example of the practical advice this book offers from chapter 17: Correction Strategies That Work:
As we look at various correction strategies, let’s examine our purpose. We want to help kids and teens to be the best versions of themselves. We want to provide coaching so that they are better prepared to respond to challenges in healthy ways in the future. We want long-term character transformation, not forced submission that only changes the behavior in the moment. The following correction strategies help guide the child while maintaining a healthy relationship with the adult… These strategies help change behavior in the long term, rather than just getting kids to comply in the moment:
- Connect Before You Correct – Dr. Karyn Purvis, whose life’s work was supporting vulnerable kids, penned the strategy “connect before you correct.” We first connect by calling out what the child may be feeling or what we notice. Then we move into correction mode. Some argue that they don’t have time for a new strategy, but this just takes a few extra seconds. Going straight to correction without taking a few seconds to connect can put the kid immediately on the defensive. Instead, if we connect first, they know that we’re with them and on their side. Correction still happens, as kids need to understand boundaries, but it’s more effective when done while also connecting… If you’re going to try one strategy in this book, try this one. Not only does it work with kids, but it’s also great with your spouse, coworkers, and neighbors and only takes a few seconds. For those thinking this strategy means we’re letting kids off the hook for their behavior, we are not! We still talk about the issue, but we’ve set the scene to let the kid know that we see them and are on their side, which makes them more open to correction.
- Do-Over – When a child doesn’t do as we wish, there could be a million reasons why. Rather than immediately tell them what they’ve done wrong, let’s clearly state the expectations and give them space to try it again. For example, in a church setting, when a group is moving from one activity to another, it’s common to have a few kids break out in a full sprint, even though the leader may have communicated that they’re supposed to walk. Calmly take those kids back to where the race began, in the large group area, and restate the expectations, “We’re going to walk to small group and find a seat at the table.” Have them repeat back the instructions to make sure they understand, then encourage them to try again, focusing on what you want them to do instead of telling them what not to do.When they walk to their small group table and sit, celebrate that they did as told. When we take the time to allow a redo, we’re giving kids practice at doing it right… You can use the redo strategy in all kinds of situations. If a kid grabs a toy from another kid, a teen comes into the house and slams the door, or a student teases a classmate, give them an opportunity to try again in a different way. Here are some phrases you can use to help them, realizing that they may need more specific direction if they can’t come up with a “better way” on their own. “Is there another way we could do that?” “What’s a different way to say that?” “Let’s try that again.
- Offer Options – Kids from hard backgrounds often feel like they have very little control over their lives. We can share power with a child by offering choices. Making decisions is an important life skill. When you offer a child a choice, they get to practice deciding between a few options… When giving kids options, it’s important not to overwhelm them with too many choices. Offer two, or a maximum of three options. When working with kids who are neurodivergent, remember that they may need extra time to consider their options and make a choice. Their lack of response does not mean they’re ignoring you. Images of potential responses can be beneficial in helping them choose; you can also help visually by pointing to the options or acting them out (for example, sitting down or standing up).
There are even more ideas found throughout this chapter and Kim’s entire book, and we’re giving away a free copy this week! Learn how to enter to win below:
1) Leave a comment on this Instagram reel and answer this question: What is one specific change you’ve made in your ministry to help your special needs or neurodivergent kids belong and succeed?
Bonus entries: Share the post to your stories or tag a parent or leader in the comments who needs to know about this book! Every parent or leader tagged counts as a separate entry.
2) The giveaway will close at 7PM EST on Friday, April 25, 2025, and we’ll announce the winner on Saturday, April 26, 2025 by 8PM EST!
Note: This giveaway is sponsored by the publisher and is open to US residents ages 18+ with a physical street address. This giveaway is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Instagram or Meta.
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