Are you a fan of the show Survivor? In one of the challenges that they’ve used in several seasons, players must balance a ball on rounded blocks held between two handles in their hand. After certain intervals of time, they take a break to add more rounded blocks to the middle, making the challenge harder. Players have to maintain the right amount of tension on the handles pushing the blocks to hold the ball in place and keep it from falling. (See a few clips from this challenge throughout several Survivor seasons here.)

Sometimes leadership, especially in children’s ministry, can feel like trying to keep this balance. In one hand, we’re holding dreaming: big-picture strategic thinking. In the other hand, we’re holding doing: the details that make the big picture happen. 

On the one hand, there’s the constant pressure to deliver short-term results, meet quarterly goals or attendance rates, and satisfy immediate expectations from your senior pastor and families in your church. On the other hand, there’s the equally important need to chart a course for long-term growth, innovation, and sustainability. 

We tend to lean more toward one or the other, but what I find interesting in this Survivor challenge, is that the right amount of tension on both sides has to be there. If one side pushes too strongly, or lets go of the tension, the whole thing falls apart. Another analogy would be walking on a tightrope or a slack line. You need two points to anchor the line to, and both points have to be there and be equal for it to work. 

So that tension between two opposing forces is actually a good thing. A tightrope only works, balancing the ball in Survivor only works when the tension is there. The tension is what holds it all together and makes it possible. Same thing in ministry: the tension between dreaming and doing is what makes ministry possible and what makes ministry thrive. 

So we’re walking in this tension. We’re walking in this tension of balancing strategic thinking, big picture stuff and the steps and details needed to make that strategy happen. Leading our ministries well requires both big-picture thinking and attention to the details. It requires BOTH dreaming and doing. 

Let’s define dreaming vs doing quickly: 

Dreaming:

• Big-picture ideas and planning, high-level thinking
• Vision for your ministry (ministry growth, spiritual formation, etc.) 
• Long-term planning and setting goals
• Prayer, spending time with God, personal spiritual formation
• Evaluation 
• Learning/leadership development
• Don’t necessarily have something tangible to show after
• Thinking strategically about how the children’s ministry fits into the overall church mission
• You are planning for the next 5-10 years, or looking at a child’s experience in your ministry from birth to graduation to youth group. 
• Common Pitfall: Lots of big ideas but not enough detail or action to execute them. 

Doing: 

• Smaller details and action steps
• Lower-level thinking
• Focusing on logistics, scheduling, supplies, volunteer communication, safety protocols, etc.
• “What do I need to do for THIS Sunday?” (cutting crafts, shopping/prepping supplies, volunteer coordination, teaching preparation)
• Running/hosting events 
• Communication and social media
• Staff meetings 
• Often tangible, usually you have something to show after 
• Example: Ensuring enough snacks, confirming volunteers, setting up the lesson plan for each Sunday.
• Common Pitfall: We get so caught up in working IN our ministry that we don’t work ON our ministry.

Just like with a tightrope or with that Survivor challenge, we need both dreaming and doing for our ministries to thrive. Our goal shouldn’t be to get rid of the tension. It should be to learn how to balance it. While the two (dreaming and doing) may be opposites, they are not working against each other but rather in tandem, giving us that tension that holds up the tightrope or holds the ball in place. The individual strength of each allows for the success of both. Striking the right balance between these competing demands is the essence of strategic leadership.

When I think about dreaming and doing, I often think of the classic story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. 

We often seen these two sisters pitted against each other. “Be more like Mary, don’t be a Martha.” But I think that’s a mistake. That’s missing the fuller view of these women in Scripture and what it means for our leadership. So let’s take a closer look at this story + other stories where these women show up…

At the Home of Martha and Mary (Luke 10: 38-42)

• vs 38 – Martha opened her home to Jesus. She was ready and willing to invite Jesus into her life.
• vs 39 – Mary was listening to what Jesus said. She stopped long enough to hear him.
• vs 40 – Martha was “distracted” – the preparations themselves were not the problem. It’s that the preparation and the planning took precedence over relationships and spending time with Jesus. 
• vs 40 – Martha is clearly a little frazzled and takes out her frustration against her sister. An easy red flag/sign you’re not balancing dreaming and doing well is if you notice bitterness in your heart toward another believer. 
• Vs 41 – Jesus calls Martha’s name twice – that only happens a few other times in scripture; he’s trying to get her attention, not just reprimanding her. He doesn’t tell her not to serve; he simply says don’t judge Mary.

When we look deeper into this story, we see some nuances that the typical reading of this story may have missed. And when we dive deeper into other instances in Scripture where we get glimpses of Mary and Martha’s stories, we see other important characteristics from BOTH of these women…

The Death of Lazarus (John 11: 1-44) 

• These verses describe the death of Lazarus, Mary and Martha’s brother. The two sisters reach out to Jesus when Lazarus is sick, asking him to help their brother. Before Jesus arrived, Lazarus died.
• Vs 20 – Martha shows initiative. She turns to Jesus with her questions and her concerns.
• Vs 21-25 – Martha is very literal and practical – obvious signs of a doer – and Jesus responds by pointing Martha back to her faith in a logical way.
• Vs 27 – Jesus then asks whether she believes this about him, and she replies with an equally powerful statement: “Yes, Lord…I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world” Peter is not the only one who recognizes that Jesus is the Christ. Martha does too. She knows what she believes and she stands by it. 
• Vs 32 – Mary says the same thing to Jesus that Martha did. 
• Vs 39 – Martha is hyper-practical and always thinking of the logistics (a doer). 

Jesus Anointed at Bethany (John 12:1-8)

• Vs 2 – “a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor” where Martha served and isn’t told to choose otherwise this time. 
• Vs 3 – Mary poured out the expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet. She poured out all she had. She was extravagant, she dreamed big, and she didn’t hold back.
• They each honored the Lord in their own way, and both are valid. Martha by doing. Mary by dreaming.
• It’s interesting that Martha is doing the same thing in the Luke story and this one, but her focus was different, leading to different results/conversations.

When we look at more of their stories, we see the dreamer Mary and the doer Martha both displaying the strengths and weaknesses of their tendencies. But both are valuable. 

So don’t feel bad for being a “Martha” or a “Mary.” That’s how God made you, and God doesn’t make mistakes. Embrace the characteristics of BOTH of these women in Scripture. Be aware of the one you lean toward so you can be more intentional about the balance.

The good news? Dreaming and doing – while we are naturally inclined toward one more than the other – are skills that we can develop and be intentional about balancing. 

So let’s get practical. How can we organize our time and workflow to balance dreaming and doing in our ministry leadership? 

1) Evaluate and rearrange your time. 

• Make sure you are spending time with Jesus for Jesus and not for preparation. 
• Set goals. (Find 7 steps for achieving your ministry goals here, and download our free goal setting guide here!)
• Prioritize tasks (not everything is the most important thing) and maintain solid time management. 
  • Feeling overwhelmed? Do a Brain Dump to help you get organized!
  • Use a sticky note system to prioritize tasks for the week. I’ve found this printable to be helpful!
• Get (and maintain) a calendar. Whether it’s digital or physical, keeping a calendar for yourself and your ministry is crucial. You have to know where your time goes if you want to spend it more wisely. (And use this calendar planning checklist to help you map out a yearly calendar for your ministry!)
• Create time for both dreaming and doing on your calendar. Allocate specific time each week to focus on big-picture planning and detail-oriented work. For example, Mondays for vision casting, Wednesdays for administrative tasks.
  • Put it on your calendar. Set appointments. Close your office door. Get off campus. 
  • Give yourself time to dream big like Mary. And give yourself days/times to get stuff done like Martha. 
• Schedule regular times to reflect on and revise the ministry’s vision and goals (e.g., quarterly planning retreats).
  • Host a VIP Meeting with Yourself once a month or once a quarter! More details and a free download for hosting a VIP meeting here! Remember, a VIP Meeting is a once-a-month meeting with yourself that gives you space to be still, dream, plan, and brainstorm. It’s a vital check-in for your goals and helps you stay on track with the most important things in your life and your ministry.
• Schedule time off and time for rest! Want to practice slowing down and eliminating hurry in your day-to-day life? Find 25 ways to do that here! Regularly take time off and organize your calendar in a way that gives you extra rest after a particularly busy season.
• Biggest takeaway: Schedule time for both or there will be an imbalance. 

2) Cultivate a team and delegate. 

• Ask for help – “Jesus tell my sister to help me” – Martha could have been more tactful, but she asked for help, and so should we. 
• I’ve always said trying to do ministry alone is like trying to ride a seesaw by yourself. It might work for a while, but eventually, you burn out, and it’s not much fun. Part of balancing dreaming and doing is cultivating a team to help you make ministry happen. 
• Build a dream team. Create an organizational structure for your ministry by listing all the roles needed to make your ministry happen. Don’t limit yourself to the positions you think you can fill – dream big! Once you have your list, organize them into teams and identify leadership roles. You may have teams like a kids’ greeter team, nursery team, preschool team, elementary team, teaching team, supply team, etc., and then leadership roles for each of those teams. Creating job descriptions for each role allows you to more easily invite people to the team and ensures that everyone is on the same page when it comes to expectations.
• Delegate the details. Empower volunteers or staff to handle smaller tasks, allowing you to focus on leadership and vision. Provide training and clear expectations for volunteers handling detail-oriented roles.

3) Leverage digital tools.

• I wrote an entire book about leveraging the digital world for discipleship in children’s ministry (learn more about the book here!).
• Use digital tools to help you stay organized with your files and time. A digital calendar is a must, and I love using my digital to-do list (I like Asana) that syncs across all my devices.
• File-sharing tools allow you to easily share and store pictures, lesson plans, media, and more with your staff and team.
• Use digital tools to help you keep track of attendance and streamline communication with your team and the families you serve. 
• When I polled ministry leaders, these were some of the top tech tools/apps they couldn’t live without.

4) Develop routines and habits.

• We talked about regular big-picture planning times quarterly, but think about some of the daily habits and routines you can implement.
  • Regularly block off time to evaluate and prioritize your tasks. Spend 15 minutes each day celebrating what you accomplished and preparing for what you need to accomplish tomorrow. That way, you don’t spend a lot of time upfront just figuring out what you need to do. You can jump right in, and it helps your brain focus on what needs to get done instead of where to start. 
• Develop systems that help your calendar and task list stay organized. Even something as simple as a sticky note system or written to-do list can make a big difference!
• Think about your days and how you structure them. Know yourself and your best big-picture thinking times (I am not an afternoon person). Morning time is best for me for big picture thinking, writing, dreaming, etc. 
• Make a habit of celebration. So often we move onto the next thing so quickly that we don’t take the time to celebrate and remember what God has done. But celebration is a key part of discipleship, growth, and our relationship with God. In Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster describes celebration, or a spirit of joy, as a spiritual discipline that produces energy, momentum, and strength within an individual and a body of believers. It is the foundation for all other disciplines, as without celebration, practicing the other disciplines becomes dull and legalistic. Celebration brings freedom from “taking ourselves too seriously” (p. 196), alleviates sadness, and gives us a fresh perspective on life. Ultimately, celebration provides the basis for successful spiritual growth and acts as a springboard for moving forward toward our goals. Use this journal to help you form a weekly habit of celebration!
• Always be learning. Pay attention to what you’re learning and who you’re learning from. Learning can help you dream as it can spark creativity and new ideas and pulls you out of the weeds. Every now and then, pause just enough to look up, look around, and consider significant changes and shifts in trends, demographics, families’ wants and needs. Keep up with what other churches and ministries are doing. Watch TED videos about unrelated topics. Visit other churches’ social media and website pages.

5) Know the signs of burnout.

• Balancing dreaming and doing by doing all the above helps prevent burnout. But you still need to be aware of the signs of it. If you see these things happening, there’s an imbalance in your dreaming and doing somewhere.
• Signs of burnout 
  • Emotional exhaustion: A feeling of being emotionally overextended and depleted from work. 
  • Lack of joy: Doing even basic tasks can feel like a chore. 
  • Decreased productivity: You feel less and less motivated to do the work. 
  • Other symptoms: Insomnia, frequent illness, irritability, reduced empathy, relationship conflict, withdrawal, headaches, stomach upset, or blood pressure. 
  • Mental health problems: Anxiety or depression. 
  • Physical health decreases

While the free downloads are linked throughout the notes too, here’s a full list of all the free downloads included with this breakout session!

• Brain Dump
• Goal-Setting Guide
• VIP Planning Printable
• 25 Ways to Practice Slowing
• Sticky Note To-Do List Printable
• Calendar Planning Checklist
• 25 Apps/Tech Tools Ministry Leaders Can’t Live Without

Other resources: These aren’t free, but they can help you dive deeper and implement these ideas!

• Time to Update book
• Sunday Celebrations Journal
• Everyone Does Better with a Coach Book
• Job Description resources